


smile you bastard smile

by evilstheater



Category: Queer Duck
Genre: Drug Use, Gen, Sex, Slurs, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 03:40:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29483115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evilstheater/pseuds/evilstheater
Summary: queer duck wonders about who he is, what he's doing, and if he should end it all(tws are in the replies. a gay man is writing this, and i can reclaim any slurs used plus theyre used in the movie. dont get your panties in a bunch)
Relationships: Queer Duck/Openly Gator
Kudos: 4





	smile you bastard smile

**Author's Note:**

  * For [peppyk](https://archiveofourown.org/users/peppyk/gifts).



> first queer duck fic in the tag lmaooo. sorry for the formatting it sucks ass

What was worth it anymore? 

The duck found himself in yet another sleepless night, another night where he could do nothing but stare out from his balcony. He was lucky his significant other slept like a brick, unless he wanted him to interrogate him on every little action he was doing.

“What are you doing?”

“Why are you on the balcony?”   
“Come back to bed, sweetie.”

“What are you smoking?”

“Are you even listening to me?”

“Why am I even still with you?”

He took another drag of his cigarette, then followed it up with a sip of his Coke. He thought about what a shame it was, that it was of the ‘Cola’ variety and not the ‘Cain’. Did it even matter? He’d ride the same old highs, snort the same old drugs, swallow the same old pills, fuck another random dude, and then go back to bed as he was crashing down.

He considered jumping from the balcony. Everyone knew who he was, however, and who would mourn a faggot? Who would dare feel sympathy for the fairy? It wasn’t like he was destined to get AIDS anyway.

Queer Duck. Queer Duck. Queer Duck. Did he even like that name? He didn’t remember if it was a nickname a bully gave him, or if it was something he came up with himself, but nobody ever called him Adam. Not even Openly Gator, even if they were arguing. It was always Queer Duck. It was never Adam. Did he like the name Adam, even? Did he even like his boyfriend?

Boyfriend. His sweet Gator. God, Adam knew he was an absolute jackass of a partner. Each night he always fucked a random man, each night he blew off another dude, but when was the last time he even thought his own boyfriend was attractive? Was it loveless? Was it his own problems? The gator would casually cheat on him, and Queer Duck never cared. He’d do the same back.

He considered calling a couple’s counselor in the morning. Maybe that could fix whatever the fuck was wrong with him.

He took a step closer to the gate of the balcony.  _ Moving is too expensive,  _ he thought.  _ Would a hospital hire me if I up and moved? Would there be a need for another male nurse? Is there a need for me in this world? _

His parents didn’t want him back. He didn’t know if he could take another molly pill without feeling like a failure. He wasn’t sure if his relationship with Openly Gator would even work in the long term. Would a therapist fix his problems? Would another boy’s cock in his ass temporarily relieve the pain? What did he want? What did he need? Was his life being wasted away?

Would anyone care for the queer duck?

Is it possible to have your life be ruined by 21?

How long would it take for Openly Gator to move on?

Who would show up to the funeral?

Co-workers? Friends? Bullies? Potential lovers?

He got too close to the edge. Feeling the gate press against his wings brought him back to reality. He took a step back, staring down at all the cars that raced by. He threw his cigarette off the balcony and headed back inside.

Suicide could wait. He had to be at the hospital at 9am tomorrow. Not like anyone would take his feelings seriously anyway.

After all, everything he did was just funny. The eccentric little duck would have his time soon. It was always up and down, up and down, euphoria and suicide.  _ Smile! When they find your body, no one would ever predict it happening! _

He went back inside.

  
  



End file.
